The Hand Thing
by katurdi
Summary: Toothless has seen the "hand thing" calm down and train several different kinds of dragons, including himself. So, logically, shouldn't it work on an angry Hiccup? One-shot. RTTE Time Zone. NOW A PODCAST!


**….Um. Just know that I came up with this in the middle of the night. I think I was delusional or something…. *coughs* ANYWAY. HERE WE GO.**

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"TOOTHLESS!" Said dragon's head shot up and out of the barrel it was previously in. "What do you think you're doing?" Toothless swiveled his head around and made eye contact with his rider, who seemed _very_ mad. Either that or he ate something spicy. Toothless cocked his head and crooned. _What's he mad about?"_

"Get your scaly tail over here, _now!"_ Toothless rolled his eyes and trudged over to his rider, swishing his tail back and forth. His rider pointed down at an empty barrel on the floor. "What did you do?"

Toothless snorted. Isn't it obvious what he did? He had a mid-day snack! "And what about _those?"_ He pointed at five more turned over barrels, which still had a couple of fish in them. _Looks like I missed some._

"Toothless, why did you eat _all_ of the Edge's fish?" Toothless warbled and looked around at the room full of upturned barrels. What's wrong with _eating?_ Toothless is the almighty Night Fury! He shouldn't have to _ask_ to eat.

" _Toothless,"_ Hiccup said warningly. Toothless just shrugged and looked out the door, trying to say one of the other dragons did it. There was one thing Toothless knew, and that was to _never_ make Hiccup mad at you. The end results were never good. _Might as well make him mad at the other dragons._

Suddenly, the entire Edge exploded. "TOOTHLESS, I KNOW IT WAS YOU. DON'T EVEN TRY TO BLAME IT ON THE OTHER DRAGONS, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS BIG OF AN APPETITE. AND TO TOP IT OFF, YOU ONLY ATE THE _HADDOCK!_ YOU'RE THE ONLY DRAGON WHO LIKES HADDOCK, TOOTHLESS."

"Woah, what's going on?" Astrid yelled. She and the other riders ran into the Edge's storage house, and looked back and forth from Toothless and his rider.

"OH, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?" Hiccup yelled, then pointed a finger accusingly at Toothless. "THIS USELESS REPTILE ATE OUR _ENTIRE_ SUPPLY OF FISH. IN ONE SITTING." Toothless blinked down at his rider innocently. "DON'T YOU MAKE THOSE EYES AT ME, YOU KNOW THEY DON'T WORK!"

"Yes they do! At least on me," Tuff said, then sniffed. "They're just so cute!" He was promptly quieted by Hiccup's glare.

He then directed is glare back to Toothless, who stared down nervously at his rider. "Toothless," he said slowly. "Why did you eat all of our fish?" Toothless just shook his head, trying to make his rider calm down. From what Toothless had learned in the three years he had been with Hiccup, he knew when Hiccup talked like that, things would _not_ end well _._

"Uh oh, you better run Toothless!" Snotlout said, who was backing up along with the other riders.

"We took over two months to catch that, Toothless. TWO. MONTHS. We were going to store it for winter! Now we have to work double time, to make up for _your_ mistake. Or, more accurately, _your appetite!"_ Hiccup poked Toothless' stomach, who was backing up, ears down. Who knew his rider could be so scary?

"Didn't you stop for one second to think that _maybe_ we needed that food, Toothless? Don't you ever stop to think that not EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND YOU?" Hiccup's voice was raising now, and Toothless was steadily growing more terrified. "WELL GUESS WHAT? NOT EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND YOU AND YOUR HUGE STOMACH!" Toothless glanced at the other riders, and saw that they were hiding behind the door frame, watching the scene. _Too bad I can't do that._

"COULDN'T YOU HAVE WAITED A FEW MORE HOURS FOR LUNCH?" Hiccup threw up his hands and started pacing. "OH, OF COURSE YOU COULDN'T. YOU'RE THE _ALMIGHTY NIGHT FURY,_ FOR THOR'S SAKE. OF _COURSE_ YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK OF ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF. MY BAD!" Toothless scrunched up his nose. _Was he being sarcastic?_

"YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD CATCH YOUR _OWN_ FISH FROM NOW ON. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU CAN'T FLY, YOU'RE CATCHING YOUR OWN. OF COURSE, YOU'RE THE _ALMIGHTY NIGHT FURY,_ SO YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! CATCHING YOUR OWN FOOD SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM!" Hiccup was steadily stalking back towards Toothless, who had himself backed against the wall. His rider fixed his angry stare on him, and suddenly Toothless knew why he was called the _dragon conquerer._

"AND NOW, BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISHNESS, THE REST OF US HAVE TO WORK TWICE AS HARD TO MAKE UP FOR IT. THANK YOU FOR NOTHING, YOU USELESS REPTILE." Toothless suddenly got a flashback, from the first time Hiccup called him that. He also remembered the time they bonded by-what was it, Hiccup's hand touching his snout?

Suddenly, Toothless got an idea. He grinned his trademark gummy smile. _This has to work, it worked on me!_ Toothless stood on his hind legs, then reached out his paw. Hiccup, who was about to start ranting again, looked quizzically at it. "What the Thor are you doing?" Toothless moved his paw so it was a few inches in front of Hiccup's forehead, then turned his head.

The whole room exploded in laughter. "W-what is he doing?" Astrid choked out.

"I think he's doing the hand thing!" Fishlegs wheezed.

Ruff doubled over. "Oh, this is _priceless!"_

"Instead of training dragons, Toothless is trying to _train_ Hiccup!" Tuff said. He and Ruff gasped and looked at each other with wide eyes. "How to train your Hiccup!" They said in unison, then busted out laughing.

"Ooh, ooh! The book of Hiccup!" Snotlout doubled over, giggling uncontrollably.

"How about the Hiccup training academy?" Astrid suggested while wiping a tear from her eye.

Toothless turned his head slightly to peek at Hiccup who was glaring at the paw. "Oh, hardee har har. Laugh it up, won't you?" When the others only laughed harder, he sighed and shoved Toothless' paw away. "Toothless, this isn't the time for games! I'm serious! You're catching your own fish from now on. I'm _tired_ of-" Toothless cut him off by placing his paw on Hiccup's forehead.

The room erupted in a fresh bout of laughter. "I-I can't!" Fishlegs choked out.

Toothless turned his head fully to look at his rider. He was smiling slightly, his cheeks bright red. "Seriously, Toothless?" Toothless only grinned gummily.

Hiccup sighed and removed Toothless' paw. "I'm still mad at you," he said lamely.

 **…. 1,000 words of pure randomness. I was seriously delusional when I made this up, still am. Hope you guys liked it!**

 **Also: THIS FIC IS NOW A PODCAST! YAY! Here's the link if anyone is interested:**

 **youtube(.com)/watch?v=0W7CwGNoV7Y &t=2s**


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